The 5 Stages of WTFness.

Time for a little sharing, not too much, so don't worry!  My dad has been diagnosed with a nice, slow growing cancer.

That is what we in the writing biz like to call 'Bullshit'.  Also, as a bit of history, I have a lovely slow growing cancer that is pretty much gone but refuses to look like it on blood work.  So that makes this bit of news upsetting but kindof old hat.  I know how this works, I know that the news is the most horrible part of it and I know that eventually life will go on as normal.

But first there are stages of getting through it that must be lived through.  Forget the Stages of Grief, to call this Greif is to give it too much power.  I prefer to make my own names, my own ways and my own stages.  And so I present to you...The Five Stages of WTFness!

Stage 1.  You just found out something truly life changing.  Your child has autism (been there, got that t-shirt), you can't have anymore babies (that t-shirt is a lovely pink), you have cancer (a red t-shirt), your mother won't be getting better and will need a nurse to care for her when you and your dad are at work (wow, I have a lot of t-shirts!),  your dad has CLL...  You get the point, those moments when life HAPPENS to you.

Stage 2.  Shock and Awe.  Numb, numb, numb.  Your brain, who loves you, realizes that you need time to 'process' before you can reeeeally process and so it shuts you down a bit.  You may or may not cry but you will probably end up on the floor staring at the wall at some point.  It seems pathetic, but don't worry, it's all part of the process!

Stage 3.  Cry.  Your.  Eyes.  Out.  I mean cry until your sinuses swell shut, you can't put contacts in past your puffy eyes and you stop bothering with Kleenex because you are wearing a perfectly good and absorbant long sleeved sweater or shirt.

Stage 4.  Reason.  Research your guts out on the internets.  Read the facts and then read them again.  They are bricks to tie to your ankles to keep you on the ground in case Stages 2 or 3 pop up again.

Stage 5.  What the hell am I doing with my life!?  Any issue that is traumatic enough to trigger the Stages of WTFness is traumatic enough to effect your life whether in thought or deed.  And so you can and should take the opportunity to look at your life with a critical eye.  Kid has autism?  Make sure I know how to love him in a way he understands and what I can do to be his biggest champion.  No more bio kids?  What is required for adoption and how soon can I start that process?  Cancer?  How do I simplify my life?  My dad's cancer?  What am I doing with my life that I would love to change?

You see, for me and my dad we are not super emotional people.  He is treating his cancer like I did mine, it's just a pain in the ass to get through and a warning to live with purpose.  But since this is my second walk down C Blvd, I am feeling a bit more existential than that.

If my life is full of crap to get over and live with then what am I doing to make sure that I am making the living part worth while?

That is the question for this week's homework.

Good luck.