It's gonna be the future soon...

I dream about the future a lot. Not the distant future of flying cars and Giant Carrot Overlords, but things like my goals in life actually happening and how cool it will be. Maybe it's why I can't stay focused on one goal for too long. Give me enough time and I have already lived out the entirety of that particular journey in my head. I've already been a famous author, head vet tech at a college hospital, traveled quite a bit of the globe, been discovered as a late blooming artist/actress (what?)/model(say what?) and I've been so successful with my Etsy store that I have worked in the Etsy labs in New York and contributed numerous tutorials. Yes, my imaginary lives have been extremely successful.

In real life things are slightly less dramatic. I am happy and life is very full and I do think that I have done more than many my age. But there is not really an Oscar on my mantle and I am not a keynote speaker at conferences and I have not seen Italy. (Damn.) But it's a great life and I love it. Someday I will go to Italy and someday I will write a book. Maybe sell it. We'll have to see.

My big lesson that I have had to learn as I have gotten older and life has begun to pass by is to live outside of my head more than in it. I have seen the tragic results when people don't figure this out and I do not want to be that person. If you're wondering why no one understands how awesome you are it's probably because, in real life, you're not. Being a legend in your own mind is a lonely and bitter thing because you share it with no one.

So I want to be a legend in my family. The mom that is loved an admired by her kids as being loving, confident and willing to work hard at doing what she loves. Even if she loves more than one thing. Same with my husband, but according to him he already sees me that way. It makes me feel loved and confident and like I want to work hard to do what I love so that I am happy and can share the warm fuzzies.

See, it's all a cycle when you live outside of your head. You can't reciprocate love and happiness with yourself. But add in people and it all comes together. Until the Giant Carrots invade. Then it's every man for himself.

i like to sew. how odd...

I have always had a bit of a creative streak. Things that have good color, balance and composition please me to no end. But I can't draw or paint and have never had the money to pursue photography. So I found my creative outlets in other, sometimes odd, things. As a vet tech, I got immense pleasure in putting an animal into a nicely made up cage. A smooth blanket with a neatly folded 'pillow' blanket and another one waiting nearby to cover them up. Also, I looooove a well bandaged animal. Smooth, regular, non-lumpy gauze, cast padding and vet wrap wrapped in neat, regular intervals gave me a downright naughty tingle. Well stocked and organized drawers made me smile, too. I liked them fully stocked for their visual appeal almost as much as functionality. There was a variety of color and texture that had the ability to make quite an impact on the eye, if done right.
Also, I have expressed myself in other, more conventional, ways. Gardening and cooking are pretty standard outlets for people. Then, I fell in love with pottery. Which is great, but a little like an abusive relationship. See, what most don't know is that throwing on the wheel is hard and your piece may suck. Then trimming the bottom when it is a little dry is hard and you may do it wrong or break your piece. Then you fire it and you might do it wrong and it may explode or you might do nothing wrong, but the kiln gods hate you and it explodes. Now the glaze, applied properly, it's great. Applied wrong it can melt to your kiln shelf or break your piece.
Do you see what I'm saying? I have found the learning process to be long and frustrating. Some of my pieces are great! A couple are even art. Some have sold and many have been given away. But pottery and I have an on-again, off-again relationship. I just can't take the pain for more than a year or so at a time. Currently, I am planning to pick things back up in January. I'll be sure to bring conciliatory flowers, chocolates and baggie of massage oil.
But currently, I sew. That probably takes my coolness factor down a bit, but I can't help it. It started with a book on weird plushies and went from there. I now have a nice machine and fabric all over my office, bits of thread everywhere and a burning need to sew anything that comes into my head. I am even planning on opening an Etsy store soon, because my friends and family will only want so many bags and my nephews won't understand why the plushies have one eye or butt flaps. So far my kids only like the plushies that they requested in detail. Any I have made for my own satisfaction is met with confusion and the question, "Who did you make this for?". Hoping, I think, that it isn't for them.
So maybe my mission in life will be to make sewing cool in the mainstream. I have, to my delight, found that it's already kind of cool in alternative culture. It's the best way to get clothes that reflect your personality. Deconstructing thrift store finds is super cool. I may try that eventually. But first I would have to measure myself and, while I am a confident woman, I don't think that I want to know the actual numbers.
And now, my friends, I leave you with this.

Stepping out

Ok, kids. Today we are learning a thing or two about stepping out of your comfort zone. By starting this blog, I have just stepped out of mine. But I have to admit, it's pretty cool. See, my life is full and interesting. I have wanted to share it on a blog for a long time, but I have a problem. I'm a laid back perfectionist. Just like I'm a friendly introvert. I'm a walking paradox reguarding many things. An enigma wrapped in a mystery, if you will.
Anyhoo, it was my perfectionism that kept me from writing. I figured that if it wasn't the most witty, intelligent, entertaining and widely read blog on the internet then I shouldn't bother. Yes, I know, that's silly. But, I am silly and, probably, so are you about quite a few things.
So why is my life full and interesting? What can you expect me to write about? Well, I am a Registered Veterinary Technician. I can even put RVT next to my name if I want. But I don't currently work in the biz, because I gots the cancer and decided that being home with the family was more important. Also, the stress was going to make my head explode, so I got rid of one of the major sources. (Don't worry though, I am now cancer free - hurray for lifestyle change and radiation!) I am now a crafter, potter, writer and wife/mom. My husband is a freelance illustrator who works from home. He's the guy from monobot.com and barrygott.com. Luckily he's really good at what he does, which is why I'm able to be home.
My kids are 8 and 4. My son, the oldest, is fun and smart and awesome and autistic. Highly functioning, but in no way is he to be mistaken for an average kid. He has a lot of language and sensory issues. We are not the kind of parents to send him to so many therapists that he has no time for a life, but we also don't think that the world needs to change to fit his needs. We see him as our son Finn. He gets great help and therapy from our awesome school and we know how he needs things done to be OK with the world. We help him deal, but expect him to be a part of life. He has chores and is expected to be a good kid, son, brother, student and person. So far, he does a great job and we are very proud.
Our daughter is adopted and from Haiti. She is a dancing princess with ponies and cupcakes and sprinkles and glitter who can wrestle and get muddy with the best of them. She has been home for 2 years and her adjustment was smooth as can be. We love her to death. Being the only extrovert in a family of introverts is a good lesson for her that the entire world does not wait with baited breath to see her next move and helps keep us on our toes. Having our son was isolating and I didn't mind too much, but having Nandi made me socialize more with other moms. (Her playmates tended to have them.) She will go far in life. With her energy and tenacity, she will be whatever she pleases and she will do it well.
To round all of this out, we have a dog (yellow lab) and two cats. Our house is not often chaotic, but is rarely quiet or still. Someone or something is dancing or pouncing, running or jumping, singing or barking, cooking or coloring at all times. It is not for the feint of heart!
So that is a small snapshot of a little chunk of my world. My posts will come from the middle of this party, but will probably not often be the subject. I also love reading and movies and music and nature and all sorts of things. Best as I can figure, I'll write about whatever and, since this is a moment away from the fam, it will not often include them. But sometimes I will post on autism or something. I think that teaching about and familiarity with things like adoption and multiracial families and special needs are the key to friendly coexistence. The world is an ugly and beautiful place. Peace and understanding makes that ratio lean more toward beautiful.
I'll be back. You kids play nice!