Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!...Crap!

National Novel Writing Month started yesterday and I totally forgot!  It's okay because I don't have to technically write every day, but if I want to finish the 50,000 word challenge by the end of the month then I need to get my butt in gear!  

Speaking of writing, I have been trying to get back into it and found that it is super tough to do when you are out of the habit.  I am such a "follow the story" kind of writer and that means that I write my best when I am lost in the story.  I can't plot because I have no idea what's going to happen and so I have no map at the beginning of the book usually.  Well, a basic map maybe - one that has a picture of Earth with an arrow or two that says, "Story starts here and might end up over there...or maybe not."  

So I have some great ideas and just need to find ways to be more disciplined in getting lost in the story.  There is such a difference, let me tell you.  The other day I was writing and I could see the whole thing in my head but what came out of my fingers was some sort of extremely sparse script for a play.  Try as I might the world would not get on the page and the characters were paper cutouts with word balloons.  When I'm lost in the moment my fingers fly and the world unfurls like a drop of dye in a glass of water.  It's beautiful and mesmerizing to me, I never want to stop.  

I know that I have said that I needed to develop this skill better before but I have had trouble finding the time for the last few months.  But I have a secret weapon that I have used since high school - I thrive on deadlines.  The adrenaline rush feeds me and I can't stop the flow.  In times of writing for myself I send half an hour on one page and practically grumble through the whole thing.  Add a deadline and it's a whole new ball game.  This is how I finished Elemental, I had a 9 day deadline till the conference and I just wrote my heart out during all waking hours.  Now I have another deadline, four weeks until I need to finish 50,000 words or else I will have failed.  

I really hate failing.  I'm an overachiever by nature.  (But a nice one and I only compete with myself - never ask my to join your sports team because I am the opposite of competitive on the field.)

Anyway, off I go to write and attempt to meet my deadline.  Oooo, I got shivers just typing that.  There will be updates on the blog and here is my NaNoWriMo link.  

Wish me luck!