Writing sample: Coffee Run

I have been able to get a small amount of writing done.  I've been trying to focus on telling a fun story that I would like to read and thinking less about how others will receive it.  Making my inner critic shut up, as it were.  : )

So here is a little scene that I wrote the other day.  It's a first draft and not perfect, but I think that it shows the progress that I'm making in letting me and my voice shine through without a filter.  

Seraphina stalked down the sidewalk, her 4 inch silver stilettos issueing sharp cracks that echoed off the buildings with each step.  Honestly, not the shoes she would have chosen if she had known what tonight was going to turn into.  Short black leather skirt and tight black shirt boucing in time to her steps, the silver knives strapped to her upper right thigh flashed just a bit with ever other step.  Guns dangled in her hands by her sides, one in each.  Fingers on the triggers, eyes on alert.  

As she scanned the alleyways, windows and doors for signs of her enemy her vision winked in and out from normal to infrared.  She could see the heat signatures of the rats in and near garbage cans, the yellow mass of a cat ran across the street with a yowl as she clicked by.  People on the street were walking rainbows of color, all with that same luscious yellow inside.  In the times when her vision was normal she saw that few noticed her guns and those that did chose to quickly look away.  She was downtown at 4am, if someone yelled about a gun who would come?  The cops were asleep in their patrol cars or filling up on pre-breakfast donuts right about now.

Shaking her head to get normal vision back she cursed the fickle fall weather.  It was too cold, her breath puffing in the air in front of her.  She was dressed for tonight's job, not for being outside and her body was using energy to warm her.  Dammit, she knew to plan better before going out.  But when she had left the apartment earlier she had been distracted and dressed for the job at hand, not for complications.  If there was one thing that Sera knew, it's that life is absolutely full of complications.

She needed heat.

Seeing a Phoenix Coffee ahead of her she picked up her pace.  The closer she got the more her vision flickered until it became a steady picture of colors.  Walking rainbows, like multilayered candy.  Each layer a different flavor and she was getting a sweet tooth bad.

Time running short she ran the last half block and jerked open the door.  Before her stood a line of people waiting patiently for their turn to order.  Depth perception shot she couldn’t see details, only knew that the third person in line was the warmest and that if she didn’t act fast then that person would die first.

She walked around the line and straight to the person taking orders.  People from behind her began to mutter but she ignored them and put in her order in the clearest voice she could muster.

“Large coffee, black, now.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but you need to wait...”  Amazing how a gun to the forehead can change a person’s mind.

“Coffee, now.”

A heartbeat later a shaking coffee cup came into her peripheal vision as the other server held out the steaming cup.  Sera plunked her other gun on the counter and used that free hand to gulp it down.  Coffee trickled down the corners of her mouth and wet the front of her shirt.  She handed back the empty cup.  “More.”

The woman took the cup and began to fill it.  Someone farther back in line either didn’t see the guns or didn’t care.  “Hey lady, get in line!  You gotta wait like the rest of us!”

Sera merely swung the arm still holding a gun to the back of the line and aimed it at the mans heart without even turning her head.  There were gasps but, blessedly,  no screams.  She just didn’t have time for screams right now.  A couple of people fell to the ground but most chose freezing in place as the best option.  

Accepting the next cup she gulped it down just slow enough to not spill again and gave it back.  Twice more she did this until she thought she would burst from all of the liquid she had poured in.  But it was worth it once warmth flooded her body and she could see with normal vision the beads of sweat on the servers forehead.

“Thanks, I needed that.  Can I please have one more but with 6 sugars and 3 creams?”  At the servers nod she looked back at the line.  Now she could see faces, clothing and emotions in eyes.  Most were scared, not ideal but couldn’t be helped.  A couple were right and truly pissed.  Well, that couldn’t be helped either.  The man at the end of the line was glaring at her with the most intensity and her gun was leveled on the middle of his sternum.  He must have been the complainer.  She had aimed about 8 inches below the sound of his voice and her guess had been true.  If she so much as sneezed this guy was dead and he knew it.

“Excuse me, miss.  Here’s the..the...um, coffee.”  The poor woman really was giving excellent service despite her fear.  Sera was impressed.

Reaching into her bra she pulled out a hundred dollar bill and put it on the counter in front of her before hooking her second gun in the back of her skirt and grabbing the coffee.  “That’s for you.  Excellent job today...”  She checked the name tag.  “Missy!  Nicely done.  Thanks again.  And don’t feel like you need to share that tip with this guy that I talked to first.  If you you pee your pants and never even deliver the order then you lose your right to the tip, right?”

Missy gave a startled laugh and looked over at Mike.  Sure enough the front of his pants were wet and there was a thin line of snot running down his face.

With a smile and a wave, Sera turned and walked up to Mr. Grumpy at the end of the line.  He glared down at her, face red and eyes furious.  “Thank you for your patience,” she demured with wide eyes.  Then, with a grin that showed very sharp teeth she whispered.  “Patience is a virtue.  It would be wise of you to remember that.”

Lowering her gun she swiftly walked out of the cafe and down the street.