News of the absurd.

Well, I just made an idiot out of myself in front of the agents I want. Talent. I got it. It's just in the looking silly department.

There was an online chat and I loved it, lots of other people asked great questions. Got on the question list, last question actually! Only problem is that the question that seemed to be so important for the hour and a half that I waited my turn suddenly seemed lame and uneducated as I hit the send button. Boy, was it ever.

I told them about my daughter being from Haiti and how I would like to write a book about the couple that ran her orphanage and have now opened a temporary clinic. I asked if I needed to query for interest or just start writing. It seemed to me that doing a book like that, in a country in crisis, was better served by having a publisher at your back. Instead of "Take time out of your insane day to talk to me, I might sell this as a book", it would be "Hey, I'm writing a book for HarperCollins, now talk to me, government people". But as I sent the question I realized that it sounded amateur and foolish. Like I had never even heard of the Writer's Market.

My problem was that the book seems so important and special in my eyes that I assumed the process would be different. But it's not and now my name is seen as being funny but spectacularly ditzy. Not cool, but what are ya gonna do?

Well, that makes me feel a little better about my second piece of news. I'm going out for my nursing degree. I know, how am I gonna write? Answer, more slowly. But I need some stability of income, we need savings and college funds and all of those grown up things that we have lacked for the last couple of years. It's something I know I'll be good at, I was good at it with animals. I'm excited about making decent money and a more secure future. At 35 with two kids, that's almost naughty it's so exciting. : )

So I'm going to walk two paths, one will give me money. Which one will do it faster? Time will tell.