I'm still waiting to hear back from anyone about my book. That's normal, I suppose, but the unrealistic dream of having a frantic editor call begging me to sign a contract has died. At best, they see that I can tell a story and are deciding if it's worth the trouble to help me pump up my story and the word count. More likely I'll soon get a nice letter saying that they wouldn't mind seeing my work again but that their minimum word count is greater than my tiny 28,000.
I will not get sad over a rejection that hasn't happened yet! It's tempting, as the days go by it is very tempting to give it up. But this is what I want to do. Lucky me, I have picked a job that's tough on the ol' self confidence. Huzzah!
The problem is that the longer I wait - and it hasn't even been an unusually long time, I'm just impatient - the more trouble I have writing. The overflowing well with stories vying for attention has dried up and I can't get a single word down. This post has taken forever and I had to start over once! See what I'm saying?
It's upsetting, but it's not like I have a lot of time to devote to it anyway. Besides, now I have decided to take some classes on grant writing. That way, I can write for money before I write for money.
I should just plain set the idea in my mind that I will do no creative writing until after August when the kids are in school. That's a depressing idea to me though. I really love writing. I love being swept up in a story and typing so hard that my fingers ache because I'm trying to get so much down so fast. I love having a world that I created that welcomes me back and shows me things. I miss it. I am not enjoying this dry spell but I will enjoy the ride even more when the rains fall again. I will throw my head back, open my mouth and take it all in with a laugh.
No comments:
Post a Comment