Saturday, May 30, 2009

Day five, trying to stay alive.


I must admit that today has been trying.  My first mega bouts of frustration, writer's block and doubt.  Massive amounts of doubt.  There was a moment this afternoon when I honestly almost gave up the whole thing.  I thought that no one would like it, publish it and I was done putting so much time into it.  There I sat in Starbucks, all teary eyed and pouty lipped.  I'm sure it was a very unattractive sight.

But two things got me going again.  First was my husband.  No, it wasn't a lovey dovey 'do it for hubby and the kids' moment.  It's just that I have seen him work through weekends and parties and the entire night when necessary.  He'll crack open a Red Bull at midnight, stretch his back and go back to painting fluffy bunnies.  Whatever it takes to meet the deadline.  That made me feel like a wuss.  A petulant, soft little wuss.  Which naturally made me more determined than ever - I hate being a wuss.

The second thing that got me going was the story.  Damn thing was still rattling around in my brain even when I wanted it to stop.  I always have stories in my head and it's been a challenge to focus on one and follow it to the conclusion.  Confession time:  I have never finished as a writer, I'm a story ending virgin.  *blush*  But after an entire morning of every other story clamoring for my attention, this afternoon it was the only show in town.  And man, did it get good!  I totally had to write it!

So anyway, here I am at 9:30, drinking coffee and planning to not stop until I have completed another three chapters.  I have got to increase how much I get done in one day if I'm going to make it.  Oh, and I'm going to make it.  Just you watch.  

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