Day five, trying to stay alive.

I must admit that today has been trying.  My first mega bouts of frustration, writer's block and doubt.  Massive amounts of doubt.  There was a moment this afternoon when I honestly almost gave up the whole thing.  I thought that no one would like it, publish it and I was done putting so much time into it.  There I sat in Starbucks, all teary eyed and pouty lipped.  I'm sure it was a very unattractive sight.

But two things got me going again.  First was my husband.  No, it wasn't a lovey dovey 'do it for hubby and the kids' moment.  It's just that I have seen him work through weekends and parties and the entire night when necessary.  He'll crack open a Red Bull at midnight, stretch his back and go back to painting fluffy bunnies.  Whatever it takes to meet the deadline.  That made me feel like a wuss.  A petulant, soft little wuss.  Which naturally made me more determined than ever - I hate being a wuss.

The second thing that got me going was the story.  Damn thing was still rattling around in my brain even when I wanted it to stop.  I always have stories in my head and it's been a challenge to focus on one and follow it to the conclusion.  Confession time:  I have never finished as a writer, I'm a story ending virgin.  *blush*  But after an entire morning of every other story clamoring for my attention, this afternoon it was the only show in town.  And man, did it get good!  I totally had to write it!

So anyway, here I am at 9:30, drinking coffee and planning to not stop until I have completed another three chapters.  I have got to increase how much I get done in one day if I'm going to make it.  Oh, and I'm going to make it.  Just you watch.  

Nothin' a little Whedon can't fix!

My, oh my, today had been busy.  Got a haircut, took my daughter out for a little fun, made progress in the story, went to a end of the year formal dinner for my son's third grade class.  I'm a bit fried right now, but it's nothing a little Serenity watching on the couch with my yummy hubby won't cure.

The story is going well.  The scene that I was writing this afternoon was so creepy that I had a heart attack when my daughter sneaked into my office.  She just stood there quietly watching me.  I catch something out the corner of my eye and jump out of my skin.  Poor girl got a bit of a snappy warning from me.  But come on - I'm writing about a creepy little demon minion that parades around in the guise of a cute little red headed three year old boy and then there's a cute little four year old (luckily not red headed) silently watching me?  There is only so much that my poor little heart can take!

Alright, back to the couch and the delectable Mal.  (Sorry hubby, you're totally delectable, too.) Tomorrow morning I'm getting up super early to write.  Bonus:  I am liking the male character more and more.  Actually, all of my characters are turning out to be awesome.  I hope that it's a good sign and not a red flag for the first part of my book being dry or overly simple.  Oh well, that's what getting rejected by publishers is for.  I'm sure they'll give me a hint about areas that I need to work on.

One more thing, I didn't get the appointment with the agent that I wanted, she's booked.  Total bummer.  Does anyone know if it's bad form to slip her my manuscript on a CD if I meet her?

Six days left!  Cowabunga!

Seven days and counting...

Here we go, boys and girls!  Last night I learned that extreme adrenaline highs make for poor writing.  I just couldn't settle down enough to write.  Too much squealing, not enough story making.

 Today has been better though.  I find that one of my biggest problems is that I just don't like sitting and typing for very long.  Isn't that helpful in trying to start a writing career?  I find that about once an hour I want to not only get up and walk around, but change my scenery.  I'm like a nomadic writer.  I want to drive all over in the course of a writing day.  Coffee shop, library, lunch out, different coffee shop.  It can get expensive if I'm not careful.  (Yes, hubby, I know you're reading and nodding.)

Well, today I have gotten two chapters done and mostly done with a third.  Went to yoga class and aligned my chi or whatever, and got my highlights redone.  I plan on writing late into the night and doing it again tomorrow.  I feel hopeful that I'll finish in time for the Get Together.  

Speaking of which, I had pretty much thought that making an appointment with an agent was the best choice because they can shop you to various publishers.  The lovely Lynn Viehl backed me up (Thanks!) and I'm in the process of setting up my 12 minutes in the limelight.  : )

That just blew my mind!

Okay, so there I was taking a little break to read up on the two blogs that I follow, and what do I find?  One of my favoritest authors of all time, whose career I desperately want mine to be like, is going to be in Ohio in a week in a half.  Why?  Because another author that I looove is holding a Reader and Author Get Together.  It's like a romance writer star studded event!  In my little world, this is like some preteen getting to go meet the cast of Twilight.  I was so excited!  But then - the deadline to register had passed about a week ago.

I may have used some power words while sulking and fighting tears.  Then the hubby suggests I email Lori Foster, author hosting the event and romance writing goddess, and ask if she'd let me go anyway.  So I did, not feeling hopeful.  Thinking that it would be awhile for a response. About three minutes later I got a response and she graciously gave the okay.  Then I cried just a little because THE Lori Foster had just emailed me!  Shut up!  

Jumping around at the idea of meeting Marjorie M Liu, Lori Foster and the rest, I provided much entertainment for my family.  The kids thought it was great - Mommy's insane.  Hurray!  

After I settled down a bit, I read through the rest of the information for the event and found that I can make an appointment to meet with an editor or agent.  Twelve minutes to network and pitch my book.  No way!  This sent me into another tizzy of jumping and screeching before I realized that they wanted a finished manuscript and I have not finished my book.  Just the four chapters necessary to enter the writing contest.  So.  I need to finish a novel in eight days.  Eight days to write about 70,000 more good words.  *gulp*

Okay, I can do this.  The story is there in my head but getting it out is still a skill that I'm working on.  Maybe I can look at this like some sort of advanced or honors class where they expect a whole lot of good stuff in a short time.  No problem, I usually thrive in those classes.  I also usually get little sleep and forgo personal hygiene if necessary.  Rising levels of crankiness is pretty much a given, but I do have a very understanding family.

So that will be the focus of my posts for the next eight days.  Updates on my honors writing class and deteriorating levels of hygiene.   God help us all.  

A small success!

The deadline is not yet here for the Cleveland Rocks Romance contest, but I have finished my main entry!  Yay!  I am ahead of the game....kindof.  I would like to turn in more than one, but I am telling myself that this is enough and to not be upset if I do not finish any other entries in time.  

But still, this is good.  I'm hoping that as I progress and begin to be published I will keep a mindset of finishing ahead of deadline whenever possible.  (Even though I know that it won't always be possible.)  So I'm giving myself a pat on the back and considering this a success even if I don't win.  I turned out the first four chapters of a story that I am proud of.  Actually, that may even be a medium sized success.  : )

My first deadline - how cute!

The North East Ohio Chapter of the Romance Writers Association has a writing contest for local writers that have not been published in the last five years.  It's called the Cleveland Rocks Romance Contest and the deadline for entry is June 1.  I am planning on entering two stories, but hoping for three.  So far the first two are paranormal romance and the third is contemporary.  I really want to enter a contemporary story because the judge for that category is with Harlequin and I would like to work with them.  But that story is my least developed and I'm trying to not be too upset if it doesn't happen.

Anyway, one of the biggest advantages of this contest, for me, is that it's been my first experience with working on deadline.  So far, I have handled it the way I always feared that I would.  When I first found out about it there was aaaallll this time before June and so I barely did anything.  Flash forward to two weeks before it's due and I'm scrapping together all of the writing time that I can find and trying to not get too nervous.  It's like college term papers all over again.  Maybe I work a little better this way though.  It helps me to focus.  No time for all of the other little things that usually distract me - I'm on a deadline, people!

Freelancing whanabe

I was just reading a post by Tobias Buckell, a fellow Ohioan, about his decision to work freelance and how the three years since have gone.  You can see it here http://www.tobiasbuckell.com/2009/05/09/a-three-year-freelanceiversary/.  He says some stuff that I believe is so important to anyone making the leap to freelance.  First and foremost is that working for yourself is hard work.  Long, hard work for a boss that is rarely satisfied.  

As a freelancer you are always trying to improve your work, your business contacts and your salary.  My wonderful husband has been a freelancer for seven years now and I have seen the ups and downs, the lack of sleep and free time when deadlines approach and the sweaty palms when there is little future work lined up.  But I have also seen the joy of working hard to do a job that you love.  Barry has said that he has no real hobbies because he is doing what he has grown up doing for fun - drawing.  

Now I am trying to throw my hat into the ring with writing and my Etsy store.  It's funny to me when I get frustrated over how much work it is.  Granted, I have two kids, one that is not old enough for school yet and summer break is here in three weeks anyway.  But there I am, glaring at the clock at 11pm wanting to sleep and get more work done at the same time.  Then in the afternoon, wanting to rest during my daughter's nap time and write at the same time.  There is never enough time and I am never satisfied with my work.  I want to do better work, faster and get paid more for it.  Hmm, sounds familiar.  Guess I am a freelancer after all.

Learning the ropes

I feel like I have been learning the ropes for several things all at the same time.  Writing, sewing, running an Etsy store, how to function enough to work after the kids go to bed and still get up in the morning.  It's all very overwhelming at times.  But here are some of the things that I have learned or am working on learning.

1. Coffee is my bestest friend, followed closely by beer.

2. PBS time in the morning is educational and beneficial for a four year old.  Sid the Science Kid taught my daughter about levers, pulleys and digestion, why should I be alarmed if she expects TV?  The American Academy of Pediatrics my think me wrong, but I say that an hour or two every morning is a good thing.

3. Writing is very time consuming.  There is a contest with American Romance Writers that I want to enter on June 1, getting my submission done in time is a bit of a crunch.  But that leads to lesson 4....

4. Learn how to get into your writing groove when time allows rather than dropping everything to write just because the muse has struck.  This is invaluable.  It might not work every time but I am beginning to get a lot more work done than I used to.

5. Sewing and crafting, on the other hand, is best done when the inspiration is upon you - that's when the best stuff happens.

6. The kids don't care about your deadlines.  Give them all of the undivided attention that you can when you spend time with them so that they will feel less upset and needy when you tell them to go play because it's work time for the next hour.  Fulfill their needs and they are more willing to help you fulfill yours.

7. Spouses work the same way as kids.  Just apply rule #6 all the way around.

I'll add more later as they come to me.  For now, my work hour is up and the rest of the world calls...